


Wave patterns

by caplico



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Gen, Implied Relationships, Rambling, what you already know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-22
Updated: 2013-05-22
Packaged: 2017-12-12 14:41:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/812724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caplico/pseuds/caplico
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And so they met, briefly, but those little moments seemed like eternity, and time passed slower than usual, but neither of them minded.<br/>a bunch of boring and vague ramblings<br/>a bit of 3.33 but no particular spoilers</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wave patterns

**Author's Note:**

> good ideas only come to me while reading wikipedia articles

            **Delta (0.1–4 Hz)**

****

Shinji blamed things on fate because it’s always easier to pass off the responsibility to someone else, and he didn’t really feel guilty about it, since he already knew that he was a coward, he just needs to emphasize further on that fact, because if he seemed like a coward he would be mostly freed from the burdening responsibility about his actions.

The darkness was menacing and omnivorous, swallowing everything Shinji’s humble room had to offer. His ears were stuffed with earphones, listening to the same track for the twentieth time today. The number was irrelevant though, since he enjoyed the song a lot.

He laid silently in the dark, looking up at the ceiling, covering his forehead with his arm and dreaming of a world full of love and acceptance, where everyone goes out of their way to kiss his ass and praise him and he serves as the ultimate martyr whose sacrifice is eternally appreciated.

Meanwhile, somewhere far in the sea of nothingness, Tabris floats in thoughts and feelings, carefully picking and sorting them into the right categories, waiting for his turn to feel emotions and descend down to the Lilin, rejoicing with them and singing their songs and dancing funnily to a collection of button-pressing and modem noises usually identified as ‘club music’.

And so they met, briefly, but those little moments seemed like eternity, and time passed slower than usual, but neither of them minded.

  


            **Theta (4–7 Hz)**

****

He was drowsy and tired, so he screamed, and his voice pierced and ripped through the silence, and everyone heard him, but nobody was really sorry enough to say anything, so they all covered their mouths to hide the inaudible gasp they involuntarily released.

And then he choked on LCL, and then nothing mattered because it was all over the moment the white-haired boy’s neck snapped and his head couldn’t resist the pull of gravity and headed down, towards the sea of reddish liquid.

Shinji felt half-awake and half-asleep, balancing between the two in a state similar to hibernation. But if this could be called sleep, it would be shallow and feverish, besides he wasn’t too fond of sleep as of lately, since his dreams were plagued with a one same face.

The preserved with drowsy condition even when the world ended, and every word that escaped his mouth was half-unsaid and half-unthought of, and before he knew it, there he was, floating in the same sea of feelings that Tabris left and then re-entered soon after. Only Shinji was asleep and Tabris was too busy counting the hairs on the pilot’s head.

“Let’s try that one again.”

  


            **Alpha (8–12 Hz)**

****

Shinji was awake, but he was idle. The atmosphere felt like a lazy Sunday morning, but it was Wednesday and it was afternoon. Shinji rolled over in his bed. His forehead was warm and so were his hands, but the sheets were compromising and cool.

The days dragged slowly, it was almost aggravating, but knowing that it’s either the lazy, slow-pacing days or the battles and the vomit-inducing taste of LCL (but he was sure that those days were soon to come anyways).

Among the general peaceful environment people were fussing about very routine things like dinners and grocery lists and self-organized events, and at times Shinji almost hoped that all of these somehow had to do with him (and in a way, they did).

And it was okay until he drowned in the same scent of LCL once more.

  


            **Beta (12–30 Hz)**

****

Shinji was overly conscious and overly self-aware and too awake to be drowning in disgusting and sticky liquid just yet. But orders were orders and when you don’t follow orders you get faced with consequences, and even though he threatened to quit multiple times before, now was not the time to cry over what could’ve happened.

And here he was again, screaming as he advanced forth and forth, choking on the fluid which had already infiltrated his lungs. And he would’ve cried instead because no child should be faced with such torture, but during fights he tries to forget about that and remember that if he acted like he actually tried and then cried afterwards people would dance around him, carrying pity on their tongues, which was his aim.

Or that would be his plan until she started slipping away, and he reached after her, trying to grab the headphones and the player and her thin pale fingers, but Rei’s hand slipped against his and she was gone, and so were the clear blue skies and the fluffy-looking clouds.

  


            **Gamma (25–100 Hz)**

****

In his mind, seconds passed, and at first Shinji believed his own assumption, seeing that he didn’t age (he did change his mind about the situation as soon as he was predicted with living evidence that many years have passed, and he is nearing his thirties).

And he trembled and he tried to wrap his small and crusty brain around the whole situation, but his thoughts were only in the someone else’s fingers and crooked piano notes and pedals barely pushed, because when he saw his face again he didn’t care about the music any longer as he still sung his song of despair and sadness because she wasn’t there.

And as Rei kept hurting him with her unawareness, Shinji kept coming back to the taller boy and they’re found peace in each other's lips and fingers and time slowed down once again, yet they never strayed off tempo and never missed a beat.

But his comfort was gone as the metaphorical noose around his neck was removed and he passed on his guilt and punishment to someone else and then that noose tightened abruptly and Kaworu’s neck bled and Shinji trembled (he never really stopped). And the truth blinded the dark-haired boy, illuminating his emotions and bringing them to light, but only for himself, because everyone else turned away from the light to save their eyes from suffering.

  


            **Mu (8–13 Hz)**

****

Tabris never really grew proper wings, but if he could fly like a creature he half was and half wasn’t, he’d soar above the human world, and he’d fly close, so he could observe all the little details, every little flower and leaf and cloud and every single emotion on the face of every single Lilin because there was nothing like that in the sea of stars which he got too used to calling home.

And he would come again to try again and let Shinji try again because everyone deserves second chances (however some of them don’t learn their lessons), even a creature like him and a person like Shinji. And it pained him greatly when he finally realised that he never got to move his body in a modern manner to the genre of ‘club’ with someone, but the person Tabris was willing to let come with barely knew what club music really sounds like.


End file.
